something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize