none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
