Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
