then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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