Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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