How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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