It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
