There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
