I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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