well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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