people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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