Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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