I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize