i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
