dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
