I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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