dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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