What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
