I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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