For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
