I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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