You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
