When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
