I'm drive I can fine osifer
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
