Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
