dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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