i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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