I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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