i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
