I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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