tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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