Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
