$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
