And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
