dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You have to summon your inner elephant
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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