Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
