were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
