You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
When did angry sex become our thing?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
