I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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