I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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