Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
