you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
