UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
im holly from the hills drunk
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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