Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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