I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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