Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize