I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
