She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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