More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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