he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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