The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
How's work?
Spinning.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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