i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
