You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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