Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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