I just pynch a tree in the face
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize