8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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