I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
