its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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