I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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