I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
