dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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