Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
