if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
